If you don’t follow John Crist on social media RUN to follow him right now! He is absolutely hilarious! His bit about the phrase “check your heart” has had me in stitches laughing so hard! But it also got me thinking...what would happen if I really did check my heart?
One of the things that I feel like The Lord has been revealing to me about himself this past year is that he cares deeply about the state of our hearts. It’s so easy to focus on the “rules” and to see things as black and white. If you aren’t blatantly doing anything “wrong” then you can check “be a good girl” off your list. This is where I have lived for most of my life. I’m a good girl. I am a rule follower. I am a people pleaser. Wow, God must be really proud of me!
Enter MAJOR conviction from the Holy Spirit! God has been doing a huge work in my heart over the past few weeks alone! He has revealed some areas of fear, some areas of judgement, and some areas of pride that I didn’t even know existed. It literally feels like blinders have been taken off my eyes! It’s crazy how from the outside everything can seem so put together and good, but on the inside things can be a wreck. I’m working on these areas. I’m praying that The Lord would continue to heal my brokenness. I’m praying that I will have the strength and courage to make changes that might not be easy or comfortable.
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there
If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"
-Psalm 139
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